I remember my fiancé telling me the horror stories he and his children had been through.  The mother of his children is out of her mind crazy, a drug addict that had very little contact with the children.  His family had echoed the same narrative referring to her in derogatory terms that left me very uncomfortable.  Of course, I believed my fiancé at the time after all she wasn’t in the picture and the children never spoke of her.

It wasn’t till after I was shot and out of the hospital trying to heal that I finally learned most of what he told me about her wasn’t true!  During the investigation one of the detectives came to my home and presented me with a letter.  It was from the magistrate from my ex’s country of origin stating that the children’s mother had been trying to contact him to make arrangements to see her children.  She had no idea they had been in a different country for the last 5 years! 

He disappeared with the children and the only ones that knew were his family members.  They were still collecting his mail in their country, so things didn’t seem suspicious.  No one would give the mother any information as she desperately searched for them!  As I sit here writing I can’t imagine the loss she felt.

The detectives also presented me with Facebook posts and text messages with my ex threatening the children’s mother along with other women.  It was more than frightening because he was very explicit on how he was going to kill them writing every detail of their demise at his hands!  I recall being sick to my stomach after being shown this new information!

In their country the custodial parent is expected to provide the children with a three-bedroom house or apartment.  With no support from the children’s father and unemployment at an all time high, it was next to impossible, so she had to hand the children over to him and his family until accommodations were made.  There was also proof that she was trying to see the children, but he controlled everything and the text messages with his verbal tirades against her for just trying to make arrangements was incredible! Still through it all and putting her own life at risk she attempted to see them on numerous occasions!

The reason his children never spoke of this is because they were petrified of their own father and he had drilled it into their heads to never speak about their mother.  For the 5 years that I knew them they had called me “mom” and I loved being a part of their lives.  When my ex began the discard stage I wasn’t allowed to see or talk to the children and they were not to reach out to me.  The other woman was already in their lives by this time. Even though he thought he was only hurting me he was hurting them too.  Shortly after this he informed me of some of the behavioral problems they were having, and I was helpless to do anything to support them.

CPS had gotten involved because he was leaving the children alone to fend for themselves without any adult supervision and a couple of bucks for food for a 12 to 14-hour period.  Meanwhile he was telling everybody what a great father he was and how he provides for his kids.

My heart goes out to the children and their mother. I can’t imagine how she felt when they were sent back to their home country after their father went to prison.  I can’t help to wonder how the children are dealing with everything especially if they are being bombarded with the false narrative he and his family members were giving to police.  But what I fear most is when he gets out!  I was told by detectives that upon his release ICE agents will be waiting to ship him back to his country of origin because he is much too dangerous to remain in the US. 

We all know that Narcopaths don’t change! This means that his children and their mother will be in terrible danger!  Because of his callous actions this family has been emotionally damaged beyond belief.  I pray that there will be some sort of protection afforded to them when he does return.

It is so hard to lose everything you once held as truth, but it is harder still to lose those we love in one final decision made by someone as diabolical as he is!

I am lucky to be alive but that doesn’t lessen the hurt as I catch a glimpse of the scar in the mirror where the bullet ripped through my flesh. The rest of my wounds are on the inside and they are still raw from the pain. Some days it is just a dull ache and others its a atrocious agony that finds little comfort.