I have posted many articles on our Facebook page about the female narcissist trying to keep you up to date, but today I am writing this article as a warning!

I believe we need a better understanding of the extreme female narcissist. One very important aspect that is overlooked in their abusive arsenal is the ability to murder!  Whether it is jealousy, entitlement or needing to be the center of attention the female narcissist like her male counterpart will go after anyone they see as weak or a threat for supply. 

The severe cases are something we rarely look at because we are so engrossed with all the other horrible behaviors listed by both victims and therapist alike.  After all, we survived our ordeal but then you have the others, the extreme cases where the victim doesn’t survive.  These are the female predators of the group who make the choice to kill or even drive their victims to suicide.

In my younger days I had the opportunity to befriend crime writer David Lohr.  He had started his career writing true crime articles and was picked up by Court TV. From there he gained notoriety and today is a very well-respected crime writer and reporter.  I also had the occasion to write with him and learned a great deal about serial killers, mass murders and thrill killers. I then followed his work through news stories published by The Huffington Post. He is both a brilliant writer and a wealth of information on human behavior.

At that time David was very interested in the female counterpart who would commit outrageous criminal acts.  I recall going through the whole Susan Smith case which changed the face of investigative technique.  I was a young mother at the time, so this case really hit home! It was probably one of the most devastating acts perpetrated against two innocent children that I had ever witnessed.  David went on to cover the Casey Anthony trial as he stated how exhausted he was sitting in the courtroom day after day listening to blistering testimony, then quickly moving on to the Jodi Arias trial.  He was also on one of the teams that were searching for little Caylee Anthony’s body.

These are the extreme cases involving female narcissists with antisocial personality disorder.  As survivors, we talk about the why, the wreckage that these people are capable of and most of all how they ended up this way.

There are so many scientific articles that have been written about narcissism, psychopaths and sociopathic behavior that it will make your head spin!  There is data that shows possible links to this malady such as shrinkage to the brain in frontal cortex, abuse, neglect, bad parenting, head injury to plain bad DNA as the list continues to grow. You have a hodge-podge of potential suspects, but the most glaring fact from decades of research is that no matter what therapy model a psychiatric professional has used, nothing has worked to change the conduct.  Instead you end up seeing a progression of horrible behavior that causes such a large negative impact that it is difficult not to be caught in its wake at some juncture of our lives.

The extreme female narcissist of the bunch is stealthy.  Much like her male counterpart the male covert narcissist, she is covert in almost everything she does. She is the most likely candidate to use poison on her targets or wait until you are sleeping and put a bullet in your head, only to convince everyone that you were mentally unstable and took your own life.  Their smear campaigns are very telling as I have sat back and watched quite a few in my day.  When you have someone telling your friends and family members that they are very worried about your mental health you need to take notice, especially if you are still in the relationship!  Problem is most of us are still very naive when all of this is going on behind our backs. 

These gals are the ones that will smile at you in the morning and give you that quick peck on the lips as she pours you a generous portion of orange juice spiked with cyanide.  They gracefully work behind the scenes like a skilled actress plotting out their conversations with the important people in your life setting the stage for your ultimate demise.  The greater the suffering the greater the thrill!  Yes, I said thrill and that is another commonality the female narcissist has, they are sadistic in nature because they are absent of nurture!

We now live in a society that is filled with these social imposters and we find ourselves underestimating what they are capable of.  These people are so dangerous especially to those they have personal access to!  They thrive in environments where they can exert power and control.  Because female predators present themselves as a loving Donna Reed characters, it doesn’t necessarily mean that is who they really are!

The actress Betty White played one of these personalities in her career. She dupes even law enforcement as she portrays the innocent elderly woman Mrs. Bickerman who is so deranged she has already fed her husband to her pet crocodile in the 1999 movie classic Lake Placid.  Although we are left laughing at the movie, imagine dealing with this type of diabolical woman in real life. I have, and like many adult survivors of childhood abuse we are left bewildered by the experience and looked at as if we are nuts! 

My mother is still considered a saint even though she did horrible things to brother and me behind closed doors!  I recall several times in my own childhood when father was a work and mother would prey on us kids.  I am very familiar with how their manipulation tactics work.  I can’t even begin to tell you of the numerous times brother and I would be screaming while pleading through tears for our lives as mother would hit speeds of up 100 miles an hour down a busy Street telling us she was going to kill us all! Only a few hours later you could find her baking cookies for visiting relatives being chatty Cathy and doting on everyone to keep up with her charade.

It is difficult at best to understand that such evil exists because it is hidden behind a warm and gentle smile that is generously comforting.  They put everyone around them at ease, that is unless you know what to look for.  Extreme narcissistic women will also go to such lengths as employing other love interests to stalk, harass and even kill their partners.  In the end it is about maximizing the damage when they are met with refusal. They sabotage your career, finances, family and anything else they can get their hands on!  Entitlement seems to be the name of the game and if you don’t hold up your end of the bargain you will be introduced to a world you never knew existed! 

For decades men have been falsely accused of rape and assault spending time in prison until some have been lucky enough for their accusers to finally fesses up or have a change of heart.  These are your extreme narcissists.  This has also led law enforcement officers to handle domestic violence cases much differently than they did in the past.  In talking to an officer, the other night, a story was relayed about a woman who called police telling them she needed someone dispatched to her home immediately because her ex was stalking her, he was outside of the house at that moment and she was in horrible danger!  Law enforcement knew she was lying because her ex had been arrested for something unrelated the evening before.

The only recourse you have especially if you even suspect you are living with a female or male narcissist is have a camera system installed in every room of your home!  This is the only thing that will protect you from false allegations and prove abuse.  You also have to make sure there is no way they can access your phone or computer or I can guarantee within 3 minutes or less there will be spyware uploaded and your life will no longer be your own! Who would have known 20 years ago that you would need this type of protection?

Welcome to the new world, the new frontier, protecting yourself from narcissism.